This is a big deal for us. We have never had proper respite care; by which I mean anything other than a family member looking after Harry in our absence.
But this year – for the first time ever – we are going on holiday without Harry. Last year’s annual holiday wasn’t exactly a disaster but it wasn’t much of a break either. And Harry is singularly unimpressed with the idea of holidays: he doesn’t like water so swimming is a no-no; he’s not happy in sunshine and he can’t read – well, what else do you do if you’re sitting around a pool or on the beach? What he wanted to do all week was sit in the hotel room watching films on the portable DVD player. And he can do that just about anywhere…
Now that our daughter is nearly fifteen we realise there won’t be many more occasions when she’ll want to holiday with us…. So, this year, Harry is having a week’s holiday away with the school and then later in the year the three of us are having a fortnight together in South Africa.
While we are away Harry needs somewhere to stay. He had his first Needs Assessment by social services last year and it meant that I also had a Carer’s Assessment (all in one home visit). At the end of the assessment I was asked if we’d ever had any respite care – we hadn’t – and would we like some?
That took some thinking about. Our methodology to date had been: we can cope. Harry’s behaviour is relatively easy to handle and we had rarely sought any help or intervention. But our parents are getting elderly and have health & mobility problems of their own and they won’t be around as backup forever.
So this week I am going to check out what respite care is on offer to see whether it will meet Harry’s needs. I’m not at all sure what to expect. I have checked out the care home’s inspection report which is excellent and sounds ideal: it has an accreditation from the National Autistic Society (NAS) and caters specifically for up to 7 young adults on the spectrum.
But two weeks is a long time and my stomach flips when I think about leaving him for so long. If I feel like this at the thought of a fortnight apart how will I feel if/when he goes off to residential college for up to six weeks at a time?